THINKING THE WORST AND HOPING FOR THE BEST
Every time some nut kills or harms a famous person. Or kills innocent people in an active shooter situation we go through a societal wringing of the hands. We wonder what motivates these people to do what they do and what we can do to help them. As the son of a mentally ill father I have had fifty five long years to contemplate his motives for killing my mother and her unborn baby. I have some strong opinions on what drove him to do what he did but I will never really know for sure. All I know is that for three years I witnessed his mental deterioration firsthand. In retrospect the red flags were there for all to see. As a child I can say that I encouraged my father to get help and he did try. These attempts brought about some short term results but things went downhill after he tried to kill himself in the Spring of 1962. He was committed to a mental institution where he received electroshock therapy. It is my belief that this had a lot to do with what his later actions. After being released he tried to kill my mother and she tried to have him committed to the state mental hospital but he found out what she was trying to do and killed her. I am sorry, but I just don't have much faith in the way we treat mental illness in this country. The common denominator in a traumatic situation like I experienced and the shootings that have occurred since then. Such as Columbine, the death of John Lennon or the attempted assassination of Reagan is that most of us never see it coming or we ignore the signs.
When my cousin came to pick us up at school that day and told me that my parents were dead I was totally shocked and devastated. Never in a million years could I, or anyone else in my family have ever imagined that my father would do what he did. Some of us are perceptive enough to imagine the worst about people but most of us are taught not to think like that. Most American's could not imagine that 19 terrorists would fly commercial airliners into buildings killing 3,000 Americans. I have been told by people that I am always imagining the worst. Since 1963 I try to imagine the worst but hope for the best. Thinking that way is a lot safer. My mother is dead even though she came to fear my father she couldn't imagine that he would shoot her to death. Sure, we need to get the mentally ill help if possible, or get them off of the street. Whatever it takes. I fall down on the side of security first, however. I could care less what John Hinckley was thinking when he tried to kill Reagan or what Nicholas Cruz was thinking when he shot up Parkland High school. Our priority should be on protecting our loved ones from these people.
I do not want sympathy. Although I will mourn my mother until the day I die I have come to realize that time doesn't heal the scars but it does lessen the pain. Look at my fathers picture very closely. The smiling man in the trench coat. What do you see? If I didn't know him I would see a happy go lucky fellow without a care in the world. Knowing him I saw a different man than most people. I saw the erratic behavior and the 1000 yard stares. Rather than ignore the trouble signs we need to be prepared to take whatever action is needed to protect our loved ones. We cannot blame the gun, the knife, the axe, or whatever weapon that is used in the commission of a crime. Only the person is to blame. Guns will usually be what stops the person in the end. Whether it is my gun, your gun, or the gun of a police officer. If I shoot a rabid dog I am not shooting it because I hate dogs. I am shooting it in order to protect myself or my family. The same goes for mentally ill people. Our focus should be on protecting ourselves from them and not understanding them. Anymore than we should try to understand a rabid dog. This was the last picture ever taken of my father on Christmas day 1962. In my opinion it was the best picture ever taken of him and would be the last. Three weeks later he and my mother would be dead.
When my cousin came to pick us up at school that day and told me that my parents were dead I was totally shocked and devastated. Never in a million years could I, or anyone else in my family have ever imagined that my father would do what he did. Some of us are perceptive enough to imagine the worst about people but most of us are taught not to think like that. Most American's could not imagine that 19 terrorists would fly commercial airliners into buildings killing 3,000 Americans. I have been told by people that I am always imagining the worst. Since 1963 I try to imagine the worst but hope for the best. Thinking that way is a lot safer. My mother is dead even though she came to fear my father she couldn't imagine that he would shoot her to death. Sure, we need to get the mentally ill help if possible, or get them off of the street. Whatever it takes. I fall down on the side of security first, however. I could care less what John Hinckley was thinking when he tried to kill Reagan or what Nicholas Cruz was thinking when he shot up Parkland High school. Our priority should be on protecting our loved ones from these people.
I do not want sympathy. Although I will mourn my mother until the day I die I have come to realize that time doesn't heal the scars but it does lessen the pain. Look at my fathers picture very closely. The smiling man in the trench coat. What do you see? If I didn't know him I would see a happy go lucky fellow without a care in the world. Knowing him I saw a different man than most people. I saw the erratic behavior and the 1000 yard stares. Rather than ignore the trouble signs we need to be prepared to take whatever action is needed to protect our loved ones. We cannot blame the gun, the knife, the axe, or whatever weapon that is used in the commission of a crime. Only the person is to blame. Guns will usually be what stops the person in the end. Whether it is my gun, your gun, or the gun of a police officer. If I shoot a rabid dog I am not shooting it because I hate dogs. I am shooting it in order to protect myself or my family. The same goes for mentally ill people. Our focus should be on protecting ourselves from them and not understanding them. Anymore than we should try to understand a rabid dog. This was the last picture ever taken of my father on Christmas day 1962. In my opinion it was the best picture ever taken of him and would be the last. Three weeks later he and my mother would be dead.
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