CHAPTER 7 - PRIME TIME

 

Sometime in November, or December 1986 Misty was supposed to go to an all night skate party in Smyrna. We let her go thinking that she would stay in the building all night and it was supposed to be chaperoned so we thought that it would be okay. I had a rule that my kids could not car date until they were sixteen. She was fourteen and seeing an older boy named Marshall. He was coming over to our house to see her on a fairly regular basis. The morning after the skating party Debbie told me that she had discovered that Misty had left the skating party with Marshall and had gone over to his house. I never whipped Misty more than a couple of times in her life but I was very angry at her over this. Although she was fourteen I thought that she needed a whipping and I gave her one with my belt. Debbie was normally at home with our kids when they were growing up but during the 1980's after I lost my job at Colonial. It became necessary, however; for her to work in order to help out with the bills. She tried to work in the morning when the kids were in school and to be off in time for them when they returned home in the afternoon. The only time the kids were at home by themselves was when they were out during the holidays or school breaks.

In 1986 I was working day shifts at Swan. One morning during the schools Christmas break  I left for work and half way there I realized that I had forgotten something. I drove back home and when I opened the door I found Marshall there at the house alone with Misty. I was angry and made him leave but I was in a hurry to get to work. In retrospect I should have raised holy hell with him and Misty. Marshall should have been banned from coming over to our house but I didn't do that. Sometime later, probably after the New Year I was asleep when I felt Debbie lay down on top of me. She put her mouth close to my ear and said in a low voice, "Your daughter is pregnant". It felt like I had been kicked in the gut. I asked her how she knew and she said that she was pretty sure of it. Sitting down with Misty I told her that I was only going to say this one time and I would never bring the subject up again. What you did was wrong and you know that it was wrong. You were not raised this way. She started crying but I told her that we now had a baby to raise and that was the most important thing to consider from that point on. I told her that she might have done an adult act but she was still a child. She was in the ninth grade but I was determined that she was going to finish high school.

I told her that I would become the baby's legal guardian so it would have medical insurance and could be supported financially. It was understood that she was not going to marry Marshall because this is something that I did not believe in. I was not going to force her into a bad marriage because she was pregnant. Many parents in the past have compelled or forced their pregnant children into a bad marriage in order to avoid the stigma of an illegitimate birth. Debbie and I had already figured out that Marshall was no good but I told her that if they were still together after graduation, and they wanted to get married we would give them our blessing.

The next day I called our pediatrician and told him that I thought Misty was pregnant. The first words out of his mouth was "bring her into the office and we will give her a pregnancy test. If is is positive we will take her to Planned Parenthood and get an abortion". I was struck by the coldness and callousness of his words. Without hesitation I said "there are no abortions in this family". He sounded angry with me and said "just bring her in and we will make the decision then". Debbie, Misty, and myself went to his office the next day. I was very proud of them because they both stood up to the doctor. Of course the pregnancy test was positive. When I took Misty in for her first follow-up visit he was so angry with me that he barely spoke. I learned later that his wife was a big shot at Planned Parenthood.

When my granddaughter was born I sent him her picture and I wrote on the back, "this is what you wanted to get rid of." I also wrote the verse from Jeremiah 1-5 which says "Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations." There are many other verses in the Bible that highlight the sanctity of life and of the unborn. When Elizabeth met Mary, who was carrying John the Baptist, the scriptures says that he leapt in the womb. (Luke 1:41 - And it came to pass, that, when Elisabeth heard the salutation of Mary, the babe leaped in her womb; and Elisabeth was filled with the Holy Ghost. Psalm 139:13-16 Verse 13 - For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. 14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. 15 My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. 16-Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be). Most women I have talked to, who have had abortions cannot talk about it without weeping. Feminists try to make the subject of abortion into a male vs female issue. Because I am male I have no right to even voice an opinion. If abortion was the same as removing a mole I could agree with them. It has been shown, however; that a baby is a completely separate person. A baby can even have a totally different blood type than the mother. The taking of life is an issue that should be of concern to everyone.

Misty continued to see Marshall while she was pregnant but I still wouldn't let her car date. We didn't want to do anything that might drive them closer together, however. I wanted her to arrive at a decision one way or the other about Marshall on her own and I was hoping that in the end she would see him for what he really was. I could almost understand why Marshall was like he was after I met his mother. We met her for the first time in the K-Mart parking lot in Smyrna. She ran up to Debbie and told her how excited she was about Misty being pregnant. It made me so mad I just turned around and walked away leaving Debbie alone with her. I wasn't excited about my daughter being pregnant at the tender age of 14. His mother came around for awhile even after the baby was born but when it finally dawned on her that we were not going to let her son marry Misty she dropped out of the picture.

One night when Misty was pretty far along in her pregnancy she and Marshall were standing out near the street in our front yard. I saw a boy dressed in camouflage in the street talking to them. A short while later Misty came to the back door and she was obviously scared. I asked her what was wrong and she said that Doug, the boy in the camouflage had pulled a pistol on her. I tried to call the police but before I could I saw blue lights in front of our house. Marshall had called them from a neighbors house. The boy had a loaded 45 caliber pistol and a bag full of knives, throwing stars and nunchucks. A police officer told me that the boy was very dangerous. I didn't know him but I knew his father. He lived a couple of miles from our house and I believe that he had some affiliation with the Ku Klux Klan. When we first moved to Rutherford County there was a large sign in front of his house that read, "This Is Klan Country". Many days I would run down Burleson road and he would drive by me drunk as a skunk. One day he even offered me a beer while I was running. I believe that the thing that sparked the sons anger was that he was jealous of Marshall. He was a classmate of Misty and I think that he had a crush on her.

The following day we had to be in court for the boys arraignment. We were standing in the hallway when the boys parents walked by and stood across from us. His dad was glaring at me the whole time. After a while they brought the boy past us in shackles. I can't remember what the judge decided that day but a few months later this same boy, who I didn't recognize at the time

 came up to me and shook my hand. His whole appearance had changed and he was dressed very nice, no longer wearing camouflage. He apologized to me for how he behaved that night. Being arrested was probably the best thing that could of happened to him. He has turned out to be a great guy and being a believer in redemption I praise God for that.

On September 4, 1987 Misty delivered my granddaughter Courtney Danielle Segroves at Southern Hills hospital in Nashville. She looked a lot like Marshall, aka the (sperm donor). Courtney's Cherokee heritage was very evident that day. I believe that Marshall had a grandfather that was full blooded Cherokee. Courtney was our little papoose. I thought that the Segroves were part Cherokee because that is what I had always been told. Recently I had a DNA test done through Ancestry.com and we have no Cherokee ancestry according to that. Courtney was a blessing from God and although I wasn't expecting to raise another child at the age of 37 I wouldn't have had it any other way. As far as I was concerned she was my daughter and not my granddaughter. She would end up calling me daddy and still does.

Courtney called Debbie granny which could lead to some embarrassing situations. When Courtney was about 5 or 6 we overheard her talking to one of her little friends on the phone. Apparently her friend was asking about her curious situation. She tried to explain it by saying "My daddy is married to my granny". We always intended to turn over guardianship to Misty when that became possible but for one reason or another it never became possible. My first concern was for Courtney's welfare and although Misty was a loving mother and protective of her she was involved in some relationships that I just didn't feel safe relinquishing my guardianship both for health insurance purposes and for her safety.